Nicole Begley (00:00)
In today's episode, we are diving into the negative business spiral. You know the one, the one where maybe a promotion didn't go as planned. Somebody told you you're too expensive or your schedule isn't booked out as you hoped it would be. Well, we've all been there. And when that happens, our brain can lead us down a pretty dark path. Well, we're talking about that today and how you can start to self-coach your way out of those business spirals.

If you've ever found yourself in one of those business spirals or expect to again, that's all of us, we'll all be there again at some point. You definitely want to listen to this episode. Stay tuned.

Nicole Begley (00:38)
I'm Nicole Bagley, a zoological animal trainer turned pet and family photographer. Back in 2010, I embarked on my own adventure in photography, transforming a bootstrapping startup into a thriving six-figure business by 2012. Since then, my mission has been to empower photographers like you, sharing the knowledge and strategies that have helped me help thousands of photographers build their own profitable businesses. I believe that achieving $2,000 $3,000 sales is your fastest route to six-figure businesses.

that any technically proficient photographer can consistently hit four figure sales. And no matter if you want photography to be your full-time passion or a part-time pursuit, profitability is possible. If you're a portrait photographer aspiring to craft a business that aligns perfectly with the life you envision, then you're in exactly the right place. With over 350,000 downloads, welcome to the Freedom Focus Photography Podcast.

Nicole Begley (01:37)
Hey everybody, welcome back to the Freedom Focus Photography podcast. I am your host Nicole Begley. Now today's episode is a little bit of a special episode.

had with one of our elevators and it was such a great conversation that we wanted to share it with you on the podcast with our elevators permission of course. So if you've ever found yourself going down that negative thought spiral when things are not working as you hope they would in your business,

Well, you're definitely going to want to take a listen to this episode. And if you haven't experienced that, well, it's coming for you because it happens to all of us.

So enjoy this conversation.

Speaker 1 (02:13)
Today, we are diving into a real conversation with one of our Elevate members as we walk through using our proprietary GPT tool, a coaching resource that I built specifically for Elevate.

based on the model. This is not available anywhere else. Our elevators use it every day to coach themselves quickly through mindset spirals, limiting beliefs, and challenging client situations. You'll hear exactly how we use it to break free from thoughts that keep us stuck and how this simple shift creates momentum almost instantly.

I hope you enjoy this conversation. If you if everything felt like it was working more, more better, you're getting more. Would would your social battery being depleted be a problem? Or how much of a problem would it be?

Speaker 2 (03:18)
I agree it would be less of a problem because there would be positive. And it's the negative feelings that make me you know the dream. And so sometimes like I'll call a friend I'm like OK get me off the ledge. And she does she will help me get off the ledge she's like would you just stop it like what are you stressing about like this is working that's working you know. And so I.

Speaker 1 (03:22)
Yes.

Bye guys.

Speaker 2 (03:47)
It turns, it really takes the energy level right back up in no time flat. So it's just being able to self convert my feelings into something positive.

Speaker 1 (03:52)
Yes.

Amazing and you recognize that that is amazing. It's like because you and Marie had both said that that your social battery was drained and I believe you and I just wonder how it would feel different if you were getting the clients

Speaker 2 (04:19)
and be feeling drained at all.

Speaker 1 (04:22)
But meanwhile, the circumstance wouldn't have changed in terms of your output, right? You would have been doing the same output, same circumstance, but you feel completely differently about it if it were working versus it's just like exercising when you don't lose weight and you do it for four years and you're like, what the actual heck, right? then it starts to work and you're like, yeah, I mean, I got this. No, totally fine. Right. So the point to that reason I wanted to bring that up.

Speaker 2 (04:44)
Yep.

Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (04:51)
is the social battery thing is not the issue. It's managing the mind around the disappointment.

Speaker 2 (04:58)
Yes.

Speaker 1 (05:01)
The social battery is just like part of the ⁓ symptom, you know, but it wouldn't be an issue if we could manage our mind around it. So that was something I wanted to talk to you about. Also, do you have a few minutes? Can I keep you on here?

Speaker 2 (05:12)
Yes? Okay.

Speaker 1 (05:15)
Because, thank you for your willingness. But here's why, because I picked up on that and I was like, ⁓ man, there's something here that we could work on. So that happened. And then I was talking to another elevator about the chat GPT model that I created. And we have some new people in Elevate that are new to the model and they don't know about the chat. So I took your words and I put it into the chat model. if you're, here's what I put in. Lots of experiments that are not leading to bookings.

Either low inquiries are out of budget. That's what they're telling you. I'm doing a lot more networking and feeling socially exhausted. I took that, I put it into the model. And I was wondering if we could just like work through that with chat as a demonstration for others on how they might want to use this in between coaching calls, like to what Erica said about using chat to help you. So I'm going to share my screen and we're going to work through this together, which is so fun. Okay.

Thank you for your willingness to share. So this is what I just read. The prompt that I put in, I said, one of my clients presented me with the thoughts below. I want to help her. Let's use the model. Okay. We put your thoughts in. Let's get curious. All right. Here's what I'd ask your client. Okay. You are the client, Sandy. You're here. So we're asking you what specific thoughts are generating that feeling of being socially exhausted?

What are you thinking when you get low inquiries or when someone says you're out of their budget? Can you list out the exact sentences that run through your mind when you try something new and it doesn't lead to a booking? Someone says you're out of their budget. You're putting yourself out there in networking situations. Could we narrow down the primary pain point?

You've shared several thoughts, which one feels the heaviest right now, which thought creates the strongest emotional reaction for you. Once you identify the most troubling thought, we're going to work through the unintentional model. Okay. What is your response to that?

Speaker 2 (07:32)
think we talked a little bit about this. think it's the allowing myself to get into a negative.

a negative cycle. ⁓ because there are, there are plenty of times where I try something new and I just say, well, you know, the timing might've, it was just an experiment and I'm, and I can move on. It's when I let myself get wrapped into the negative and the thought of that was a lot of work for not a lot of result. it worth it?

Speaker 1 (07:46)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-mm, there it is.

Speaker 2 (08:15)
And now when I go into a networking situation, I have to laugh because I go to my chamber of commerce and I go to other networking events and I literally see people go there and don't do other than get food off the table and then leave. Like they don't even try talking to people. And I'm like, why are you here? And so I...

I've been getting better about just walking up to people randomly and introducing myself and this is why we're all here. Anyways.

Speaker 1 (08:50)
Yeah. So I'm going to put what you shared.

Let's get curious, gently. I hear that sometimes you can move on and other times it feels like you spiral. Let's look at one of those times when you do spiral a bit. When you think that was a lot of work and the results aren't there, was it really worth it? How does that make you feel? Encourage her to answer with a one word feeling like defeated, discouraged, resentful, tired, et cetera. Once she shares the feeling that comes up from that thought, we'll begin to build her unintentional model from there.

you tell it tells me to ask you now it says

Speaker 2 (09:31)
I would say my one word would be failed.

Like it failed. I'm not sure I feel like I'm a f- No, it's okay.

Speaker 1 (09:36)
okay. Sorry,

Business experiment did not result in bookings. That's circumstance. The thought is this was a lot of work. Was it worth it? You feel like a failure or like it failed. When you feel like it failed, what do you tend to do or not do? What happens next? Do you ruminate, second guess, stop promoting, compare, withdraw, et cetera? Let's get her answers on the action line. Then we'll explore the rest.

Speaker 2 (10:08)
So there's definitely a

Speaker 1 (10:10)
Hey.

Speaker 2 (10:13)
⁓ a comparison thing that happens because I follow a lot of photographers and I have.

And this is just, have to remind myself that this isn't always truthful that they make it sound like everything is skyrocketing through the roof and it's, you know, everything's positive and wonderful. And I'm sitting here going, why isn't it working for me? And meanwhile, you know, they're, they could be fully lying about how well everything is going for them to make themselves look good to clients and things like that, which, ⁓ so there's a comparison piece for sure.

And then there's a how long do I spend in that negative?

Speaker 1 (10:58)
⁓ So you're ruminating in the negative spiral. ⁓

Speaker 2 (11:02)
Yes.

then, and then honestly, sometimes I can snap out of it pretty quickly. ⁓ and then other times it sometimes just lasts a little longer than it should.

Speaker 1 (11:06)
Right.

Yeah. And then there's so that's judgment on how long you're in in the spiral.

Speaker 2 (11:21)
Yes. Yeah. Because sometimes when I'm in that spiral too long, I'm like, stop it.

Speaker 1 (11:27)
Yeah,

yeah, that's judgment. I mean, many of us do that because we don't want to be there, obviously. Anything else in this action? So this could be behaviors or things you do or inaction.

Speaker 2 (11:41)
I complain a lot to my husband.

Speaker 1 (11:45)
Fun, yep.

Speaker 2 (11:47)
⁓

And then I start writing down actions for myself. I, when I start to come out of it, I'm like, okay, you need to try this. And then maybe you need to change your website and maybe you need to do a post and maybe like I start creating tasks for myself to try.

Speaker 1 (12:09)
those but it sounds like when you're in it, not when you're out but when you're still in it, you're creating these tasks kind of like, not randomly, but it's like boom, boom, boom, boom, I'll try this, I'll try this, I'll try this like a

Speaker 2 (12:22)
⁓ yeah, I'm,

Speaker 1 (12:24)
like creating tasks from sort of an unseen

Speaker 2 (12:27)
straws a little bit like what can I try and

Speaker 1 (12:32)
That's it.

That's it. Yeah. Creating tasks that are, that are, ⁓ try, you're trying to feel productive in the moment. They're actually kind of graspy.

Speaker 2 (12:42)
Yes, like.

Speaker 1 (12:45)
All right, well, how does this one spell grasp be? I guess that's not a word. Okay, whatever.

Okay. So the circumstance business experiment did not result in bookings. That was a lot of work. Was it worth it? It's a failure. Compare, ruminate, judge, complain. And then the result is you reinforce that it wasn't worth it and continues to create lack of meaningful results. That thought that it wasn't really worth it or is it worth it? Just questioning it, questioning if it was worth it. Your model, your unintentional model will reinforce that it's not worth it.

It'll show you the proof, your brain will show you the evidence as to why you are right, because that's what it does. It looks for ways to prove you right. So if you say, I don't think that was really worth it, because that's when you say, it really worth it? What you're actually saying it was not worth it. Yeah. And then from there, the feelings and the actions lead to a result that just reinforce that thought.

So that's what's creating you stuck. That is the literal definition, Sandy, a spiral, stuck in a spiral.

Speaker 2 (14:03)
Yep.

Speaker 1 (14:04)
You've been pretty good at getting yourself out of it at various points, sometimes faster than others, right? I think the goal here is to be aware of what's happening and just shorten that period, get out of them faster.

Speaker 2 (14:19)
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 (14:20)
Yeah,

because it's still going to happen. Yeah. But how can I get out of it faster? Okay. If you could choose a thought that helps you feel something different, something more useful and more empowering, what you, what might you want to believe on purpose instead when an experiment doesn't go as planned? This is for everyone. Yeah. Listen, before you answer Sandy,

I want everyone writing down or putting in the chat. What might you want to believe on purpose instead when an experiment doesn't go as planned? What do you want to believe? You have this experiment, you think it's a great idea, you're excited about it. It doesn't go as planned. What do you want to believe on purpose about that experiment? Everyone needs to come up with their own answer for this and maybe we can share them and share thoughts so we can borrow them.

because this is what's empowering. I can write this down and get a whole bunch of thoughts to try, even if they're latter thoughts, right? We need to make sure they're believable that help you feel better. What could that be?

What do you have, Sandy?

Speaker 2 (15:35)
I was going to say, something went well. What can I learn from this? What can I repeat and improve on?

There's learnings to be had here.

Speaker 1 (15:54)
Yes, that's it. That's the thought. Okay, so if you have the thought something is working, I can learn from this, I can improve on this, what would you feel?

Speaker 2 (16:07)
That's a, to me, that's a positive feeling.

Speaker 1 (16:13)
Like empowered to feel. think that's a good word here.

Speaker 2 (16:19)
ready to try something new,

Speaker 1 (16:21)
Yeah,

excited. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I want you to look at this intentional model. the, it's the circumstances is the same. An experiment didn't work, but now you're thinking something is working. I'm going to learn. can improve. You feel empowered. And then you review what went well and what didn't you look at data or feedback with curiosity instead of judgment, you make thoughtful adjustments instead of those graspy tasks.

You stay open to trying again, which is the perseverance we're talking about and resilience. And you keep showing up with purpose instead of grasping. And then you learn and improve and create momentum and progress. you've instead of this type of spiral, this downward, you've created this like upward spiral.

What would it be like if this was the model you practiced when things don't go as planned? How would your business feel different?

Speaker 2 (17:25)
Well, I know I would feel like I have the energy to keep trying new things and... ⁓

seeing where it will go and spending the effort and putting in the time and as opposed to the negative feelings where you're like, you know what, I don't feel like even thinking about this today and I need a break and.

Is Amanda on the call? Engel?

Speaker 1 (18:02)
I saw her earlier, I think so.

Speaker 2 (18:05)
So I spent all of yesterday creating my artwork page for my website because of her post a couple months ago about her with her beautiful artwork page like, you know, and, and I, know, those kinds of things make me feel good because I get them done and I am like, Ooh, that's beautiful. This is going to be helpful. And, know, I, I am in a good mood and I'm in a positive place and

Speaker 1 (18:17)
Yes.

amazing. Yeah, it feels good. ⁓

Speaker 2 (18:39)
When the negative is gone, like you didn't get anything done.

Speaker 1 (18:41)
Yes.

So the key here is Sandy that we can get through the process, like processing the negative faster to get to that point. That's the key. The negative is still going to come up. That's fine. It's okay to be disappointed, but I want to get to that point faster where I'm feeling like I want to take more inspired action. my gosh. It's beautiful. Okay. So chat says, so what I'm hearing you,

Speaker 2 (18:53)
Yes.

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:13)
What I'm hearing is that when you think something is working, I can learn from this, you feel empowered. And from that place, you stay in the game, focused, open and willing to try again. That's the energy that actually gets you results. Here's a little bonus. If she'd like to reinforce the belief, her, excuse me, ask everyone to write down this model and put it somewhere where you can see it. Then you can practice it anytime your brain wants to default to, was it worth it?

I would have to assume that most of you listening have had that thought because I have, was it worth it? If you've ever had that thought, you might want to break down this model, screenshot it, whatever you want to do. Here's a few latter thoughts. It's okay for this to take time. One experiment doesn't define me. There's always something to gain here. My effort is part of my success story.

I actually, wait a minute. I can share this whole conversation with you in the chat and I'll put this in the replay as well. There it is. Look at that. my gosh. That was amazing. Sandy, did you find that helpful? my gosh. Thank you for allowing me to demonstrate that with your challenge. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (20:41)
Absolutely.

you

Speaker 1 (20:50)
⁓ Anyone else? Did you find that? I hope you found that really valuable. The reason I wanted to share that I asked Sandy if we can talk about it is twofold. One is because it's just a great lesson, but also I wanted to show you how you can use the chat GPT model to help yourself in between coaching calls or when you find yourself spiraling, you can go to the model GPT.

and just type in whatever's coming up for you and let it help guide you. I've taught it the model extensively with examples on and on intentional versus unintentional, all of it. And it's super helpful. How many of you could you let me know in the chat have used the model GPT? Could you let me know? Jessica says daily. I do use it.

Kelly says every time I use it, gets better. Yeah, because it learns. If this conversation resonated with you, I want you to know that this kind of mindset coaching is happening inside of Elevate every single day. The custom GPT tool we used in this episode is just one of the powerful resources our members have access to. It's designed to help you get unstuck fast because the faster you shift your thoughts,

the faster you can take meaningful action in your business. So if you're tired of spinning your wheels or wondering why it's not working, Elevate was built for you. You don't have to wait until things feel easier. You just need the right tools, the support and coaching to move forward. You can learn more at www.flourish.academy slash Elevate or click the link in the show notes.

We believe, truly believe that there is room for everyone. And we're here to help you pursue your passion on your own terms so that you can create the business that works for you. I hope that you found this useful. I'll see you in the next episode.