Nicole Begley (00:00)
I've spent my entire life believing that I had never been burnout. Not once. And then this summer happened. And I found out I've been wrong about what burnout even was. I'm digging into that today with Heather. Stay tuned.
Nicole Begley (00:16)
I'm Nicole Begley, a zoological animal trainer turned pet and family photographer. Back in 2010, I embarked on my own adventure in photography, transforming a bootstrapping startup into a thriving six-figure business by 2012. Since then, my mission has been to empower photographers like you, sharing the knowledge and strategies that have helped me help thousands of photographers build their own profitable businesses. I believe that achieving $2,000 $3,000 sales is your fastest route to six-figure businesses.
that any technically proficient photographer can consistently hit four figure sales. And no matter if you want photography to be your full-time passion or a part-time pursuit, profitability is possible. If you're a portrait photographer aspiring to craft a business that aligns perfectly with the life you envision, then you're in exactly the right place. With over 350,000 downloads, welcome to the Freedom Focus Photography Podcast.
Nicole Begley (01:15)
Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Freedom Focus Photography Podcast. I'm your host, Nicole Begley, back in the studio again. The one, the only, Heather Lahtinen Hi, Heather.
Heather (01:26)
Thank you for having me.
Nicole Begley (01:27)
Always. This is basically the Heather and Nicole show. It's it's I should just like rename this the
Heather (01:30)
I love it. Yeah.
Nicole Begley (01:33)
Heather and Nicole Mindset Elevate podcast. Yeah, yeah,
Heather (01:36)
Yes. Yeah. And that because that's what we tackle, right?
Nicole Begley (01:40)
yeah. We do. We do. And
Yeah, this is actually I'm really excited for this episode. because I don't even know where to start. I'm just gonna dive into it. Like you and I have had had had a month, really just like a whole summer for me that culminated in the past month. And same thing for you. And we'll get into those details in a little bit. But there's one point we're boxering, so we boxer on the regular, like daily. And you foxered me. You're like, listen.
We both cannot be down.
Heather (02:08)
Yeah, no, that's a serious problem. It's like when the other's down, you know, we're here to lift one another up. But if we're both down, they're in trouble. Yeah.
Nicole Begley (02:14)
Yeah, yeah. And one of us can kind of cover a little bit, pick
up a little slack, like, hey, I got you, I got you. We're like,
Heather (02:21)
Right.
Nicole Begley (02:22)
who's got us? Cause neither one of us has our ourselves.
Heather (02:25)
Yeah.
Nicole Begley (02:27)
So anyway, yeah, and I've I've been doing a little bit more research into just really all the things ever since I realized that I am not neurotypical and I have ADHD and like various various things going on there.
That just like deep diving into like, that's really interesting, which I've I've always been super interested in how the brain works. You and I both have.
Heather (02:48)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Nicole Begley (02:49)
I think it's freaking fascinating. but digging into these, and I was always the person that like would say, if you asked me, Nicole, have you ever been depressed? Be no. Have you ever been burnt out? No. Have you ever been like all of these things? Do you have a great childhood? Of course.
I don't know. Like there I think what I pictured as like burnout or like depression would be, I just lay in the bed and I can't get up. Which it's not the case. I then saw, and depression is a whole different thing. Like, I don't think either one of us were were there, but I definitely was like, I'm I this is this is what burnout is. So
Heather (03:25)
Mm.
Nicole Begley (03:26)
when you hear for all this, this like,
I'm burnout. I'm burnout. Like, what does that actually mean? Because I pictured it as I could not function. Like, if you're burnout, you just like cease functioning because you need to recover. but then I saw a definition of it. someone described it as it's depression without the sadness. And I was like,
Heather (03:45)
Mm, interesting. Mm-hmm.
Nicole Begley (03:48)
tell me more. Which which here, and I looked it up. So the standard model of burnout,
has three separate dimensions. It has exhaustion, check, cynicism or mental distance from the work.
Heather (04:01)
Mm.
Nicole Begley (04:02)
I wasn't I didn't have cynicism, but I definitely like, man, had a hard time like focusing on things.
Heather (04:10)
Mm.
Nicole Begley (04:11)
and then a reduced sense of efficacy. Like, yes, like nothing was getting done. I'd even have a day without any calls. I'm like, I'm gonna get things done. No, no, like
the just unbelievable amount of executive dysfunction that I just could not get things started, accomplished, move the ball forward, felt just like I was just like throw my hands up in the air, like what what I I this is it, I'm done. I can't I can't do this. but it was never from a I am trapped in bed, I can't get up and do it, because it's like, well, I have to get up and do it. So I I get up and I do it. And
And powering through you and doing it from that place of exhaustion apparently, apparently is not not the best thing to do.
Heather (04:55)
Well it's certainly not the most productive way to approach it.
Nicole Begley (04:58)
Yeah, yeah.
Or the best for like your long term health. Like
Heather (05:01)
Right, right.
Nicole Begley (05:03)
like your mental health, your physical health, like all the things. Like, we should not just put our head down and power through and not try
Heather (05:09)
Yeah, right.
Nicole Begley (05:10)
to like see what is happening. So for me, I think it was just a culmination of I didn't get as much done this summer as I wanted to. It was Lauren's last summer at home before she went to college. we had just
different various things going on. And then even when I was home, like no one tells you this. But when your kids get to be like late high school, you're as busy as you were when they were toddlers, but it's a different kind of busy. And
Heather (05:38)
Yes, agreed. Mm-hmm.
Nicole Begley (05:40)
I was just like, what is happening? my gosh, there is so much like just family life. There was so much life lifing that I did
Heather (05:48)
Ha ha ha.
Nicole Begley (05:48)
not have the time to work on my business.
which led to the stress, which led to the executive dysfunction, which led to the lack of efficacy, which led to like all of these things, till I realized I'm like, this is burnout.
Heather (06:01)
Mm.
Nicole Begley (06:02)
okay. I see now.
Heather (06:04)
Yeah, I you know, I hate this is what I do, and I hate that I'm about to say this, like what's the solution? Okay, we I I I don't think
Nicole Begley (06:10)
We'll get there.
Heather (06:11)
right. Like, I don't think we can jump there yet, but was there in any inciting incident that really snapped you to attention around this?
Nicole Begley (06:22)
No, no, it was honestly when I was just sitting doom scrolling because I just could not like manage to get up and do the things that
Heather (06:29)
Mm-hmm.
Nicole Begley (06:30)
I like actually saw that it's like, Meta knows. So I needed to see that right now. And it was just because my feed is full of a lot of like Aud stuff to like it's just I find it really fascinating,
Heather (06:39)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Nicole Begley (06:42)
interesting. but it was one of those things that burnout is
Can be described as, it's not a clinical definition, but it can be described as like feeling like depression without the sadness.
Heather (06:54)
Where would you say most of your challenge came from in those three categories? Exhaustion, the mental my gosh, I cannot even read my own writing. What was the next one? Cynicism or mental?
Nicole Begley (07:06)
Yeah, cynicism
or just mental distance from the work. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Heather (07:09)
Distance. I wrote that. Okay.
or the reduced sense of efficacy. Like now that you have that in front of you and you can sort of like reverse diagnose, what were you most challenged with here?
Nicole Begley (07:22)
I think the reduced sense of efficacy and the mental distance and the exhaustion, a little bit of all. If I had to choose one, which I think is what
Heather (07:31)
Everything.
Nicole Begley (07:32)
it is, like that's what creates it, is those three things.
Heather (07:34)
Yes.
Nicole Begley (07:36)
but I think the biggest one was the efficacy. But here's also why I don't think I I noticed it. Just
Heather (07:43)
Mm.
Nicole Begley (07:43)
the way that my brain works, I have periods of that. You know what I mean? Like like
Executive function is part of like the ADHD, like and then I like strap and like just lock in and like I get like an inhuman amount of things done in like two hours, or I'll
Heather (07:57)
Mm-hmm.
Nicole Begley (07:57)
go like two days with it. I'm like, I did nothing. What what did I do? so so that didn't like pull up a red flag other than it was continued for like a month. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It wasn't just like a day or two. Yeah, yeah.
Heather (08:10)
Yeah, it was ongoing. Right. Right. It was a it wasn't a short season. Yeah. Yeah.
Nicole Begley (08:15)
And there is one other thing that the that I want to point out that I was reading as I was doing some research about this too, is there's a self-employed twist, which I thought was fascinating, is that the burnout research was workplace research. So it assumes a job, an employer, and a boss. And so that cynicism dimension would usually land towards the job, the employer, the boss, the yes.
Heather (08:41)
right. Yes.
Yes.
Nicole Begley (08:42)
Your tasks at work.
Heather (08:44)
Yes.
Nicole Begley (08:45)
We are self-employed. So Heather, where do you think that cynicism lands?
Heather (08:51)
just make an educated guess here and say it lands on us.
Nicole Begley (08:55)
It lands on your boss, which is you. Yeah.
Heather (08:56)
You. Right. Right.
Nicole Begley (08:58)
So it turns inward and can come out as self-blame. I'm being lazy. I've lost my edge. Maybe I don't want this anymore.
Heather (09:10)
which then that thought that thought is scary because then you like literally start to question your existence. Like what am I doing? Yeah.
Nicole Begley (09:16)
Yeah. Yeah. And
how many times have we been talking to photographers that might have said some of these things?
Heather (09:21)
Mm-hmm.
Nicole Begley (09:22)
And now I look back and I wonder, I'm like, is it coming from a place of just being in in this this like this exhaustion burnout space? Because, you know, and like what's causing the burnout? Often it's just too many demands, you
Heather (09:39)
Mm-hmm.
Nicole Begley (09:39)
know, just too many set really that's what it is. It's just
Heather (09:42)
Yeah.
Nicole Begley (09:42)
too many simultaneous demands on our
mental bandwidth. And sometimes that comes in the form of life lifing. And sometimes that comes in the form of us just putting too many demands on ourselves.
Heather (09:54)
Mm.
Nicole Begley (09:57)
but and I think one of the things that leads to those demands is the stress of I need to make this work. I need to get income in my business. I need this. I need that. Like that's that's not helping any of these things.
Heather (10:11)
No, that's an added dimension that is compounding
Nicole Begley (10:13)
Ha ha
Heather (10:14)
the problem.
Nicole Begley (10:15)
Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Heather (10:19)
Okay, when did you get to a point though where you thought, I have to address this?
Nicole Begley (10:28)
I don't know if it was
I don't know. I for me, it was like I saw that one definition and it was like it was like when you shine the light on something. We always talk about like, hey,
Heather (10:39)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nicole Begley (10:41)
when you like shine the light on the thoughts, you can actually do something about it. So once I saw that, I was like, this is what this is, which actually did allow me to turn off the I'm being lazy kind of comments. Because
Heather (10:55)
good. Yeah, the judgment. Yeah, yeah.
Nicole Begley (10:58)
I I mean I've I've had those for a long time of like.
Why can't I keep my desk clean? Like, what's wrong with me? Like, I want a clean desk, Heather. I want a clean desktop on my computer. And I just, I just cannot because like there's something innately wrong with me. It was like my was, you
Heather (11:13)
Right.
Nicole Begley (11:14)
know, even though I would try to switch it. but yeah, so I think that just allowed me to to look at it from the side instead of straight on. And then it was like,
Heather (11:26)
Mm-hmm. And then what?
Nicole Begley (11:28)
And then it allowed me to just give myself a little bit of grace
Heather (11:32)
Mm.
Nicole Begley (11:33)
and be like, yeah, no, there's a lot going on right now. So
Heather (11:36)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Which, you
know, ironically, just that piece dropping the judgment probably relieved a lot of the symptoms. Yeah, because
Nicole Begley (11:46)
Yeah. And
Heather (11:47)
then you're just, yeah, this is what it is.
Nicole Begley (11:50)
And you dropped the judgment and it also dropped the expectation of I need to get all this done now. And it basically became it's gonna get done when it gets done.
Heather (11:59)
Yeah, well, because here's the thing. When we think it all needs to get done now and we're not getting it done, we think it should, should be different
Nicole Begley (12:06)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (12:07)
than what it is, but it's not. So you are and have been, we both have, resisting reality. Instead
Nicole Begley (12:14)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Heather (12:15)
of so resisting and then judging ourselves for resisting and then being mad about being mad, right? And then
Nicole Begley (12:21)
Ha ha
Heather (12:22)
you s you drop the judgment, show yourself some grace, and you're like, this is going to work out. It's happening is it's
exactly as it should be happening. That's called acceptance. Acceptance, I talk about this in elevate. I I came up with these equations. Do you want to hear them?
Nicole Begley (12:35)
Yes.
Heather (12:37)
We're going to have pain in life and and in business. Pain multiplied by resistance equals suffering. Pain
Nicole Begley (12:44)
No.
Heather (12:45)
multiplied by acceptance equals wisdom.
And one feels obviously much better than the other. So if I really feel like I'm in this like
Suffering season,
Nicole Begley (12:58)
Okay.
Heather (12:59)
I have to ask myself, where am or what am I resisting? Where am I resisting?
Nicole Begley (13:03)
Uh-huh.
Heather (13:04)
What am I how am I resisting reality? Because if you can then shift to accept it, like you did. You said, well, this is the this season, you know, this summer was just like
Nicole Begley (13:13)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (13:14)
a lot was going on. That acceptance leans more towards wisdom, which who
Nicole Begley (13:20)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (13:21)
doesn't want wisdom? Of course, you want to feel like you're learning from this, right? And then you
you feel so much better and lighter about it, which then sort of helps you towards a path of I don't mean to be dramatic here, but like healing. You know, like
Nicole Begley (13:34)
Yeah.
Heather (13:35)
just or not healing or fixing, but rectifying or shifting shifting or something? A new direction. Something like that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Nicole Begley (13:42)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah. A hundred percent. So
question for you is how is all this landing on you? Have you, first of all, have you ever, if I asked you before today, Heather, have you been in burnout
Heather (14:00)
Hmm.
Nicole Begley (14:00)
recently?
Heather (14:01)
No, I would no. I would say no. If you asked me, in terms of my photography business, did I experience burnout? A thousand percent yes. I burnt out every
Nicole Begley (14:09)
You're right, the cookie
the cookie times when you when you decide it's just big cookies for a month and a half.
Heather (14:13)
No, I lost my mind. I think
I had I think I had a mental breakdown, like a high functioning one. And it just resulted in baking cookies. So which is strange. But that's actually a true story. So every every year at the end of wedding season, yeah, I would be completely burnt out. But I blame that on the physical demands of the job. You
Nicole Begley (14:32)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (14:33)
know, just like thirty weddings in a row is a lot. so yeah.
Nicole Begley (14:35)
Well, I think there's a real quick, I think there's
there's a differentiation that's worth pointing out there because like after I teach a workshop, after we did progress lab, after we did Elevate Live, we're exhausted,
Heather (14:50)
Yes.
Nicole Begley (14:50)
but we're not burnt out.
Heather (14:53)
huge difference. What's the difference, Nicole? Tell us.
Nicole Begley (14:55)
Well, because you're missing that middle one. Instead of being cynical about your work, you are lit the heck up. You're just you're just exhausted. You are just physically need some rest. Yes.
Heather (15:02)
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Correct. 100% agree.
It's like after we did Elevate Live, I I felt like I was actually dying from exhaustion. I did. Yeah. But my heart was so full. And I was so excited. Yeah.
Nicole Begley (15:12)
Because you yeah, well, and you also ended up being sick. Yes. Yeah. Right. So that is not burnout. That is just you're tired and you need rest. Where
if you're burnout, the little bit of rest won't fix it. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah.
Heather (15:26)
Right, correct. Good point. Good point. No nap is gonna cure that. Yeah.
Nicole Begley (15:31)
And the burnout I think has like it definitely has that more I wanna say this is gonna sound
Big but like sinister thoughts underneath of it, where
Heather (15:42)
Mm.
Nicole Begley (15:43)
just being tired from doing something that was just physically taxing, like, but you were like so aligned with it and it felt purposeful and you saw the results and you're like, heck yes, more of that, but
Heather (15:56)
Yeah.
Nicole Begley (15:57)
you're just tired. Where with the burnout, even when you're doing the work though, that is aligned with you, like.
You're doing the work in your business and you know your business vision and your business business mission is aligned. But there's something underneath clouding the thought that it doesn't feel aligned anymore. So I think that's where you get that difference between like, no, this is
Heather (16:18)
Yeah, yeah.
Nicole Begley (16:20)
burnout because like this should be aligned and it's it's not. And I I hate to use the word should, but maybe it's this is usually usually aligned and it's not feeling aligned right now. Why? What's going on?
Heather (16:30)
Mm. Well, that's a great question.
Why? And
Nicole Begley (16:34)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (16:35)
if I if I take that back to weddings, I can definitely see towards the end of my wedding career
Nicole Begley (16:40)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (16:41)
where I was I was all of those things burnt out and exhausted. I was not aligned. I was not
Nicole Begley (16:44)
You were phoning and in. You were yeah, you were not probably like yeah.
Heather (16:48)
aligned. I mean, is that I actually thought that as my kids got older it would get easier. And I was so wrong. It was the absolute reverse. It got
Nicole Begley (16:55)
Mm. Mm.
Heather (16:57)
Harder and it it became harder on my body. And I don't like commitments and I don't like
Nicole Begley (17:03)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (17:04)
filling my summer calendar a year to two years in advance.
Nicole Begley (17:08)
Heck no.
Heather (17:09)
You know, so yeah, all of that for weddings. But to go back to your original question a few moments ago when you said, would I have labeled myself as burnt out recently? I no, I wouldn't. I wouldn't say that because
Nicole Begley (17:21)
Yeah.
Heather (17:24)
I think.
that middle piece is missing, like you said. I I think it was I've just felt I've felt exhausted and I have felt overwhelmed for sure. Like there's so much to do and not enough space to do it in. But I have my own and we've kind of talked about this. I have my own protocol for when I go into overwhelm. So I
Nicole Begley (17:45)
Uh-huh.
Heather (17:46)
I'm good at recognizing it. My awareness is like
Nicole Begley (17:48)
Remind us, remind us
on your protocol, your overwhelm protocol.
Heather (17:51)
Yeah, okay. So the first thing I ask myself when I feel overwhelmed, I get curious and I say, that's interesting. Where have I fallen out of belief with my capability? Because
Nicole Begley (18:03)
Mm.
Heather (18:03)
overwhelm is just your brain telling you you're not capable.
Nicole Begley (18:08)
Yeah.
Heather (18:09)
If I believe that I am capable, then the list of to-dos, no matter how long, is just a list of to-dos. It's just kind of neutral. It's like, here's the work we have to do. But when I am feeling overwhelmed, it's be overwhelm is a feeling. It's because the thought is I can't get all of this done, or it's I'm behind. Then I feel overwhelmed because I'm doubting my
Nicole Begley (18:30)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Heather (18:32)
own capability. So my protocol is.
When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I just check back in and say, remind myself, like I'm I'm actually capable here and it's okay if maybe the time frame isn't what I originally thought. You know, maybe
Nicole Begley (18:48)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (18:48)
maybe I could shift things around. But to your point, I do I would like to please, if I may, share a conversation I had with my coach last week. my life coach, about this idea of overwhelm.
Nicole Begley (19:00)
Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Heather (19:03)
I was telling her.
That I was feeling overwhelmed because there was so much to do and again, not enough time. And and and I was I was being funny. I said, Sarah, I I know that I'm expanding my capacity for complexity and I want to expand my capacity for what I can get done, but I'm feeling like this has gone too far. This is this is like overwhelm. I'm
Nicole Begley (19:24)
It's enough.
Heather (19:25)
starting to feel like I'm not capable. And she said to me, Well, first of all, we started talking about this idea that cap capacity.
can be expanded but is always evolving. That expansion is always evolving. And that was interesting, but however, let me boil this down. She gave me a question that has changed my life. You're gonna say, Heather, how how could something have changed your life? It's only been a week and a half.
Nicole Begley (19:52)
I
I I know we did this episode years ago where there was one conversation with you that changed my life with my relationship with time, even though I still I still end up in overwhelmed periodically, but overall much better. But anyway, yes. Go ahead.
Heather (20:01)
Yeah, so it happens. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, much better.
So this question, you know, it impacts people differently at different times, but it was so impactful for me that I wrote it down and I have it taped above my monitor. And she said, you know, you're always going to have this list of things to do, right? I mean, you're an entrepreneur, you're busy. Yes. Okay. What do I want to pay attention to right now? Just right now. What do I want to pay attention to? And
That was so liberating for me because here's the big list, you know, but I'm sitting down at my computer and I'm like, my gosh, see, I gotta do this, and then I I'm
Nicole Begley (20:39)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (20:40)
juggling all of this. And I just took a deep breath and said, What do I want to pay attention to right now? And then I just focused on that thing. And when my
Nicole Begley (20:48)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (20:48)
my brain started to sort of wane, you know, like
Nicole Begley (20:51)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (20:51)
get distracted with all the things. I brought it back to that question.
Now, the ironic thing about this is that was a Monday and a half ago, a week and a half ago. I talked to her this past Monday, just a few days ago, and I said, Sarah, remember when I said I was overwhelmed last week? Yeah. I said, child's play. Okay. Because Yeah, it got
Nicole Begley (21:12)
Universe said Universe said hold my beer.
Heather (21:16)
much worse, much, much, much worse because I had to call 911 that Wednesday. My mom had a seizure. She has she's elderly and has health issues.
And it's very scary and it it's she
Nicole Begley (21:26)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (21:27)
just likes to keep us on our toes, you know. But so you put that in the middle of of all of the regular life stuff and the work stuff, and now I'm worried my mom's gonna die, you know, and I'm like feeling behind. And I just kept taking a deep breath and asking myself, what do I want to focus on right now? And if everything
Nicole Begley (21:45)
Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.
Heather (21:46)
is unfolding as it should be, it's happening in the right timing, then it's okay. What do I want to focus on right now?
So you may remember this, Nicole. Last Wednesday, as I called nine one one, after I called Jessica to run our elevate call, I then called you and I said, Hey, you want to record a podcast real quick?
Nicole Begley (22:06)
And
I said, You have got to be kidding me.
Heather (22:09)
Yeah, like what is like Heather, what is wrong with you?
Nicole Begley (22:12)
Well, and to be
fair too, when you sent me the photo and told me what was going on, like and y I thought your mom was like unresponsive, like like like coding. And I was like,
Heather (22:21)
Yeah, like dying. Yeah. Yeah.
Nicole Begley (22:25)
what absolute what? No. You need to be at the hospital right now. but yes, no, it was a seizure and she was all of her vitals were vitaling. So yes.
Heather (22:33)
Stable. Yes. Yeah. She was stable. And
I thought, here's what I thought. Is she, I watched the ambulance. I was sitting right here talking to you. I watched the ambulance drive off and I said to you that they're going to take you to the hospital. They're going to run all of these tests. We probably won't see a doctor till evening.
Nicole Begley (22:46)
Yeah. It's gonna be hours. Yeah.
Heather (22:50)
She's under medical care. I feel good about that.
Nicole Begley (22:53)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (22:54)
What do I want to pay attention to right now? Right now, I actually really wanted to talk to you that day. So
Why why would now listen, I'm not gonna say I'm not distracted a little bit, maybe not a hundred percent myself. So it's not like perfect. I'm just consciously making a choice on what I want to pay attention to right now. Let me add one more thing to this.
Nicole Begley (23:19)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Heather (23:20)
My son listens to a podcast called The Rest is Science. It's fascinating. You can learn all kinds of sciencey things.
And he shared it with me one time. So I now listen to it because it gives us common ground, things we can talk about. In the last episode, they were talking about watches, different types of watches. Now you may only think, you may think there's like digital, analog, smart, whatever. There's way, way more to it than that. Radian watches, all kinds of wacky things. But anyway, the host, Michael, says he's actually also V Sauce, which is an interesting connection. It doesn't matter. Anyway, he has this watch with a digital readout, it has no
Nicole Begley (23:55)
Yeah.
Heather (23:55)
hands on it.
And so the digital readout has the letter N, colon, the number zero, and then the letter W. And whenever he looks at it, it just says now. And I freaking loved that. I was like,
Nicole Begley (24:10)
They seem
Heather (24:11)
what time is it?
Nicole Begley (24:12)
now. It's true.
Heather (24:14)
It's actually so I was listening to it on my walk and I stopped on the trail and I laughed out loud to no one in particular, the deer, okay?
Nicole Begley (24:23)
huh.
Heather (24:23)
And I was like, what time is it? It's now. So where do I want, what do I want to pay attention to? Where do I want to focus my energy right now? Because everything else is just kind of a drain on that.
Nicole Begley (24:35)
I love that. I like want to get a watch and put that on except I cannot handle things on my wrist. Like I had a smart watch for a bit and I'm like that I I it's I cannot. Yeah.
Heather (24:44)
I actually kind of want to get one too, you know, just
like to be funny, but also remind myself.
Nicole Begley (24:49)
It's a great reminder
though to be present.
Heather (24:52)
It's not so between this idea of this watch and this sticky note I have this is what do I want to pay attention to right now? I I am telling you, this has saved my life in the past week.
Nicole Begley (25:05)
Yeah.
Heather (25:06)
It's like, what am I doing right now? I'm here with you. I mean, how distracting would it be if you and I are having this conversation and we're both thinking about this giant list, and I gotta go do this and I got I got this meeting and I have this thing and then I gotta you know, it's just
Nicole Begley (25:20)
Well, honestly, I'm thinking back, if I had this a month ago and I could re ask myself that question more regularly, the end of July, the beginning of August, I don't know that I would have felt as burnt out as I was.
Heather (25:39)
Hmm, interesting.
Nicole Begley (25:40)
Because I think that would have given me the permission earlier to just be like, it'll get done when it gets done. Right now.
I'm helping my daughter get ready to go to college.
Heather (25:50)
E
exactly. And that's so important, right? Don't you of course your connection with your daughter is
Nicole Begley (25:53)
Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep. Yep.
Heather (25:57)
the most important thing in those moments. Nothing else matters except now.
Nicole Begley (25:59)
Yep. Mm-hmm. Yep.
Heather (26:03)
Now.
Nicole Begley (26:03)
I mean, I literally look back to August third is when we moved her horse up to he's in his retirement home now. He has like six acres with four other horses. They're in a little herd. It's amazing. He's living
his best life. It's fantastic. But that feels like it was a million years ago. I'm like,
Heather (26:24)
Yeah.
Nicole Begley (26:24)
I'm sorry, that was like three weeks ago.
What? What? Like, how in the world could all of the things that have happened in the past three weeks happen in three weeks? Like,
Heather (26:34)
Mm.
Nicole Begley (26:35)
no wonder I was exhausted. And
Heather (26:37)
Yeah.
Nicole Begley (26:37)
like, and that exhaustion plus that stress of feeling like I should be focusing on the shoulds, the stress of the shoulds, plus just being tired because there's a lot of things, just like starts to lead to that
lack of really that feeling like I'm out of alignment.
Heather (26:56)
Yes.
Nicole Begley (26:57)
But it's it's not because I know that I am. and yeah, so it's just it's all of those things compounding. And I think burnout is just, yeah, like that overwhelm just gets to a new level where it is just like that's your that's your baseline. Instead of overwhelm being a roller coaster where you're like, I'm overwhelmed. Okay, I got a handle. I'm overwhelmed.
Heather (27:14)
Hmm. Yeah.
Nicole Begley (27:17)
I got a handle. Like
I'm and this is not a clinical definition, this is a Nicole Bagley definition, that I am defining burnout as just like you're just you're just redlining here.
Heather (27:32)
I mean, it all
Nicole Begley (27:33)
Which
Heather (27:33)
comes, it all comes from our thinking. Because
Nicole Begley (27:36)
I actually go ahead.
Heather (27:38)
burnout and overwhelm are feelings. They feel a little bit more than feelings because they feel physical, but the it's true that they are. But they all come from our thinking and how we're thinking about it. Because you could have the same exact situation that you've just experienced, say the past month and month and a half. You could experience it again next year.
And have a completely different thought and feeling about it. And it might it might still be challenging, but maybe not the degree to which it was. All because
Nicole Begley (28:08)
Yes. Yes.
Heather (28:10)
you have a new way of thinking about. I'm telling you, I said to Sarah, that question has changed my life. What do I want to pay attention to right now? Well, okay,
Nicole Begley (28:17)
Yeah, mhm, mhm.
Heather (28:21)
if you're looking at your to-do list, you pick something and you pay attention to that thing. It's really
Nicole Begley (28:25)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Heather (28:28)
Very, very simple. But you have to watch the thoughts that spiral you into oblivion
Nicole Begley (28:34)
Yes, yep.
Heather (28:35)
and lead you down this path of nothing's working, everything's wrong, I'm out of alignment, I should quit and move to Alaska and go off the grid. I don't know.
Nicole Begley (28:42)
Well,
I keep saying that I'm just gonna opt out of just society in general and all the stress and all the adulting. and I'm gonna go raise goats in Uruguay. So if anyone wants to come with me to raise goats in Uruguay, and we'll have kittens. We're not raising the kittens, we're just gonna have kittens. There's plenty of cats in the world. No,
Heather (28:56)
Would you be like a you wanna be like a herder? Like you wanna have your
Nicole Begley (29:01)
I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I'll do some goat cheese. I I don't know, but I like goats.
Heather (29:06)
I I like goats too.
Nicole Begley (29:07)
Maybe I'll just have goats for fun.
Heather (29:09)
Goats are fun. We had them when we
were little. We had goat cheese, goats milk, all of it. Yeah. They are they are the honoriest things you'll ever deal with. Yeah. Yeah, they're fun. Yeah.
Nicole Begley (29:12)
They're trouble. They're trouble. they really are. That's why I like them, I think. They're so funny.
but there is, I do want to touch on one more piece before we wrap this up. And I think there is a physical component to the overwhelm. Once you reach that point of stress in your body, like,
Heather (29:33)
Yes.
Nicole Begley (29:34)
like it's like charging.
I don't know, like you're charging a battery, you're charging a wind up choy. Like you've created all this kinetic energy, all this energy in your body. Like it needs to go somewhere.
Heather (29:44)
Mm-hmm.
Nicole Begley (29:45)
And if you do not let it out, like that is going to like just ramp up all of those, you know, negative emotions, the negative feelings, the stress, the the like I think that pushes you over the edge sometimes into a more like actual depression, or like that's where you can't get out of bed.
Heather (30:03)
Mm.
Nicole Begley (30:04)
So like the physical movement and the the like doing things to kind of like move that energy and and I think that also helps clear our head and and just all of the different things. So like for me, like going when my horse is sound, like riding, like you cannot be riding a horse and thinking about anything else or you will end up on the the
Heather (30:21)
Yeah. Yeah.
Nicole Begley (30:23)
ground, like period, full stop. or like paddleboarding or walking in the woods or whatever it is to like just be present.
Move that energy is is really helpful. And there's one other piece too, because I always thought again that I was wrong for this not working for me.
Heather (30:40)
Hm.
Nicole Begley (30:41)
and there was just like, why this should, this is supposed to work for me. Why does this not work for me? But my brain is different, is that I have a really hard time with just rest. Like, just rest. I'm like.
Heather (30:52)
Right. Right.
Nicole Begley (30:55)
So like just sit down and rest and do like work from the couch? Like what what do you mean just rest? I know.
Heather (30:59)
Yeah. Right. Define that for me, please.
Nicole Begley (31:04)
Yeah. Which yeah. but I also learned this in my deep dive of like the the ADHD nervous system helps to reset through like through activity, through focused
Heather (31:18)
Mm.
Nicole Begley (31:18)
activity.
through like ziplining or adrenaline or just like paddleboarding or riding or walking
Heather (31:25)
Yeah.
Nicole Begley (31:25)
in the woods or whatever it is in the just like the sitting can actually feel like prison. You're like, ooh, like it makes it worse. So
Heather (31:32)
Death. Yes.
Nicole Begley (31:35)
do what works for you. Some people find the the sitting really really that's one reason I think I really struggle for like just plain meditation where you're like just focus on your breath. I'm like, I I I cannot
Give me a guided meditation, I'm in. But yeah.
Heather (31:50)
you know, it's funny you say that. I I think that you're right about moving the energy around because
Nicole Begley (31:54)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (31:55)
as soon as you and I spoke last week, I took a walk. I I hit the trails in the woods and I move my body. I
Nicole Begley (31:58)
Mm-hmm. Yep. Mm-hmm.
Heather (32:02)
force myself to do that even when I don't feel like it because I know it's going to move the energy around, you know, get it helps
Nicole Begley (32:06)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You feel better.
Heather (32:09)
you just clear your mind. Everybody needs to find something like that that involves movement outside of their home or being on the computer, you know, just like
Nicole Begley (32:19)
Mm.
Heather (32:20)
gets you out. I like the idea of fresh air being out in nature
Nicole Begley (32:22)
Mm.
Heather (32:23)
and just moving. When I feel my worst, I always say to myself, my worst is there's nothing a walk can't fix. Like you just have to go on a walk. You just have to move. So when mom was down and out, girl, I was moving. I was
Nicole Begley (32:38)
Ha ha ha.
Heather (32:39)
on those trails, like just moving as much as I could, trying to get that, trying to expend that energy in a productive
Nicole Begley (32:46)
Yeah.
Heather (32:46)
manner.
And and then I would feel a little bit better. You know, you ha you do have to know yourself and what works for you.
Nicole Begley (32:53)
Yeah, yeah, for sure. So anyway, hope you guys found this helpful today. I thought it was a a a good I don't know, it just came to me as something that I thought people might connect with and and feel feel they they needed to hear, especially coming up on busier season. Yeah.
Heather (33:07)
my gosh, wait, wait, hold on. Stop.
my gosh, this just came to me, Nicole.
Nicole Begley (33:12)
Yes.
Heather (33:13)
About three, not quite four weeks ago, I created an outline for for a new mini course that I will be recording in September all about burnout. Is this hilarious? I forgot.
Nicole Begley (33:25)
my gosh!
Heather (33:26)
Yeah. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna take the transcript for this call and and you know, revisit
Nicole Begley (33:32)
Yeah.
Heather (33:33)
it.
As I create
Nicole Begley (33:33)
Uh-huh.
Heather (33:34)
so I like I outlined it because here's why. We're doing the revenue sprint, everybody's gonna make a ton of money and be really busy. And then some people will get burned out, you know, they'll have challenges
Nicole Begley (33:42)
Mm-hmm.
Heather (33:44)
and a lot of photographers do anyway in the fall. So I thought I'll
Nicole Begley (33:46)
huh.
Heather (33:47)
put together this super bingeable, very, very quick saying, mini course on burnout. And then here we are talking about it. And I just remembered that. my gosh.
Nicole Begley (33:58)
Hey, elevators. you guys get complimentary access to all the mini courses created. So come join us.
Heather (34:01)
Always always. Yeah.
Nicole Begley (34:04)
but you did also mention the revenue sprint, which I did want to just plug again real quick because we are getting started. This is gonna go live right around when we're getting started.
Heather (34:13)
Yes.
Nicole Begley (34:14)
The first call may or may not have happened or is happening in the shortly. so come join us. Go to flourish.academy. You'll see it right there on that page.
$47, guys. Heather's leading four calls over four weeks. I'm doing two pricing reviews on week three. it's going to be just a great way to really like get excited and take advantage of this last quarter and and make some money in our business because I don't know if you guys are aware of how accounting works, but we have fixed costs in our business that we have to pay for all the time. And then once those are paid for, like,
It's so much easier to add on the profit. Like so much more of
Heather (34:51)
Yes.
Nicole Begley (34:52)
every sale in fourth quarter is profit than say February or March, where you're like, I gotta pay for my fixed costs in my business. so let's finish strong.
Heather (35:00)
Yeah, let's go. I think it's gonna be
so, so, so much fun. I'm so excited and I'm excited for the challenges that everyone brings with their brains. You know, let's work on that and let's just see how much money we can generate. It's fun. Let's
Nicole Begley (35:15)
Let's do it.
Heather (35:16)
go.
Nicole Begley (35:17)
Awesome. All right, see you guys there.
