
The Real Reason You Struggle With Sales
IN THIS EPISODE:
301 - Ever felt weird about “selling” your photography services—especially to people you know? You’re not alone. In this episode, we dive into the hidden mindset blocks that stop you from confidently sharing your business. And spoiler alert: it’s not about needing a better pitch or new pricing guide. It’s about how you're thinking.
What to Listen For:
- Why feeling “sold to” may be triggering your own sales anxiety
- How projecting your beliefs can sabotage your marketing
- The emotional difference between “getting” and “serving” clients
- How to share your offers without pressure or awkwardness
- Why being nervous about selling is rooted in past experiences
- A mindset reframe to help you feel less sales-y
- How to stop judging your worth through others’ reactions
- Why no interaction is ever wasted (even if it feels like it)
- A simple mantra that makes awkward moments feel lighter
- How to use “I just want you to know” energy in networking
The way you think about selling is directly impacting your ability to grow. When you shift from “I need clients” to “I want to serve,” you’ll feel more confident—and so will your clients. Tune in now and start changing how you show up in your business.
Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a photographer friend who needs it!
Additio
Resources From This Episode:
- Register for a free coaching workshop with Heather: www.getcoachedbyheather.com
- Master the craft of pet photography at the Hair of the Dog Academy - www.hairofthedogacademy.com
- Stop competing on price and reach $2,000+ sales with the Freedom Focus Formula - www.freedomfocusformula.com
- Crack the code to booking more clients inside Elevate - www.freedomfocusformula.com/elevate
- Discover the world of commercial pet photography - www.hairofthedogacademy.com/commercial
Full Transcript ›
Nicole Begley (00:01)
Today's episode is a powerful behind the scenes coaching session with Heather from our Elevate program. You'll hear her coach a photographer through a common mindset block that's likely been holding you back as well because it does to all of us. Feeling salesy when sharing your business. So stay tuned. Let's dive in.
Nicole Begley (00:21)
I'm Nicole Begley, a zoological animal trainer turned pet and family photographer. Back in 2010, I embarked on my own adventure in photography, transforming a bootstrapping startup into a thriving six-figure business by 2012. Since then, my mission has been to empower photographers like you, sharing the knowledge and strategies that have helped me help thousands of photographers build their own profitable businesses. I believe that achieving $2,000 $3,000 sales is your fastest route to six-figure businesses.
that any technically proficient photographer can consistently hit four figure sales. And no matter if you want photography to be your full-time passion or a part-time pursuit, profitability is possible. If you're a portrait photographer aspiring to craft a business that aligns perfectly with the life you envision, then you're in exactly the right place. With over 350,000 downloads, welcome to the Freedom Focus Photography Podcast.
Nicole Begley (01:20)
Welcome back to the Freedom Focus Photography podcast. My name is Nicole Bagley and in today's episode, I am turning it over to Heather, who is chatting with one of our incredible Elevate students who has been struggling with something so many of us have felt. How weird it can be to talk about our business, especially when it feels like selling. So this episode is a must listen if you've ever hesitated to share your offers or felt like you could be being
pushy, which let's face it, I think we've all been there and if you haven't, you will soon. So this is a must listen. Go ahead and enjoy. Talk to you soon.
Speaker 1 (02:00)
Today, I'm sharing a conversation with one of my photographer friends from a recent fast track coaching call. I periodically host these free coaching calls so that I can help as many photographers by exposing them to the powerful transformation of coaching.
Elevate is our business program for photographers where we have extensive training on pricing and marketing strategies and everything you need to build a successful business. But what makes us different is we go far deeper than just pricing and marketing strategies. It's about creating lasting, transformative results through mindset coaching combined with proven business tools. And I think that many programs
stop at strategies, and the reason we stand out is because we answer the critical question, what do you do when those strategies don't work? My job, my mission in life is to help you uncover the hidden blocks that keep you stuck even when you have all of the tactics in hand. The truth is most photographers think they need strategies alone, but what they truly need is a shift in their thinking to
confidently implement those strategies, figure out the obstacles and keep moving forward. Because roadblocks are going to happen and we show you how to overcome them and stay on track. So by addressing mindset alongside of business tools, we can help you get faster results. You should definitely head over to www.getcoachedbyheather.com to register for our next free coaching workshop.
even if you don't have a specific question, it's super helpful to learn from others like you will today that are getting coached because essentially you benefit from coaching by proxy. One more thing before we dive into this conversation. At the beginning of this particular call, I had shared that one of our Elevate members just had her first $1,000 sale. So I was telling everyone, if you knew
that you could make $1,000 and all you had to do was talk to me? Why wouldn't you do it? We do work with photographers all levels because, so in that same week, we had a photographer that had their first $1,000 sale, and then we had another photographer that had her second highest sale, and it was close to $12,000. And I thought to myself, I mean, first of all, can you imagine $12,000 sales?
So if you knew that you could make $1,000 or have two $5,000 sales or even $12,000 sales and all you had to do was join us in Elevate or again, just have a conversation with me. What would prevent you from doing that? In other words, if you knew that you had certainty that that could happen, that was in your future, would you be willing
to talk to me to get there faster? I would hope the answer is yes. I hope you enjoy this conversation. It's nice to see you. What's going on?
Speaker 2 (05:20)
Hello, Heather.
So last week I had a contractor, friend of ours come and do some work on our house. We needed some painting done. And at one point
realized that the color of the door was not what I was expecting. And because it is a friend, I had this moment of like, ⁓ this is why I have a hard time, ⁓ hiring friends because I'm like, I need to say something. I don't like it, but there's that, Hey, I know this person. And anyway, very uncomfortable. ended up telling him,
turned out fine. you know, turned out, he was like, I should have asked you and I said, I should have asked you as well, et cetera. So anyway, that incident and everything turned out fine. But that incident made me kind of reflect on ⁓ when I'm doing networking things. And, you know, when you're putting yourself out there and trying to get people to know I can trust you and
⁓ realizing that I have this underlying sense of people that I know, like, can I really trust them to...
Well, if I'm hiring them, like what if something happens like with this last incident? And I think that is an underlying fear of, and then when I'm trying to share my business, I don't know, it's just very, I just realized like I have this kind of long standing distrust of like, I would rather in one sense, just go to Google for whatever it is that I'm, service that I'm looking for.
look at all the reviews, and then just not having to deal with that interpersonal relationship of already knowing that person. But that's not good, and I know that's not good for my business. Why am I even going to networking events if this is my presumption? it's probably.
Speaker 1 (07:51)
is the what is the presumption? What is the fear?
Speaker 2 (07:57)
I think, I think it goes both ways from if I'm looking for a service or even not really looking for a service, like, ⁓ for instance, like insurance, you know, of course all these, there's a lot of insurance people out there. Like when I go to this one networking event and I met one-on-one and you're kind of like, Hey, you to know this person and specifically like,
Hey, we're not there to sell each other. Like we're trying to learn about your business. I shared, he shared, and I felt sold to.
Speaker 1 (08:34)
Okay, okay, this is good. What what does it mean to feel sold to? What's the what's the emotion or the thought that comes up for you when you feel sold to?
Speaker 2 (08:47)
you
I don't like it. Like feeling that, that pressure of, well we're in the same networking group. And it wasn't like we, you know, we had to make a deal or anything like that. But I was going in going, just sharing about my business. That's what he was supposed to be doing as well. But I felt at the end like, well, do you want to, you want to schedule an appointment to do?
Speaker 1 (08:51)
because
Speaker 2 (09:19)
When I hadn't really said I specifically needed somebody, you know, so.
Speaker 1 (09:26)
So did you feel like you're being sold to and you should do something about that?
Like either way, like it kind of puts you in a position to either say, hey, tell me more or no, I'm not interested. Like you, like it almost, there's almost a question there. If I'm being sold to you, then the person selling to me is,
Speaker 2 (09:59)
Well, mean, just do you want further information or do you want to set up another meeting? And I'm like, no, I don't. ⁓ But I'm like.
Speaker 1 (10:11)
But there was something about that that you didn't sit right with you.
What was it?
Speaker 2 (10:23)
It felt like he was pressuring me to schedule something. ⁓
Speaker 1 (10:31)
And you certainly are not the type of person that would ever want anyone else feeling that way about you.
Speaker 2 (10:39)
Probably, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:41)
So because, of course, that's not who you are. So of course, because you had that feeling, you're then going to turn around and project that onto everyone you know. So what your brain is telling you is that if I tell someone, I'm a photographer, and would you like to schedule a call or book a session that you are selling to them and you're putting them in an uncomfortable pressure position?
Speaker 2 (11:08)
Probably.
Speaker 1 (11:09)
If that's what your brain is telling you, does it surprise you that you would hesitate to share your business? Of course not. Your brain is like, don't do it. It's not safe. That's because of your experience and how you viewed it. So then we just tend to assume, well, everybody thinks like us. We project that on everyone else. So I'm not going to be that way because I'm not going to put that type of pressure on people.
Speaker 2 (11:40)
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:41)
But is there a different way to look at that exchange that gives it a different feeling or meaning?
Like if he's not selling to you, let's say he's not selling or pressuring you, what is he doing?
Speaker 2 (12:09)
Well, I would say that he's trying to see if I want to go to the next step of meeting like my husband or, you know, and actually talking through what we might need.
Speaker 1 (12:25)
He's trying to get me as a client, which feels very sold to. Verse, he really wants to help and he wants me to be aware of his service. He's serving.
I don't know if you've ever heard me talk about this on the podcast, but there's a big difference between I need to get a client. I need to get money. I need to convince everyone. That's the get energy that we tend to get in. It feels awful salesy. So we don't do it. And if we think someone else is doing it, well, here we are. But if we are in service energy where I'm always just trying to tell people what I do so they just know, you know, Hey, I just want you to know I have this type of insurance. If you're ever looking for it, just like, just like,
service, he might be trying to sell you. mean, I don't know what his energy is, but I just because I view what I do as serving you as I'm always in service energy. I assume in that same scenario, I assume he's just, he just let me know what he does.
Speaker 2 (13:13)
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (13:33)
It's just like service. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:40)
At the time that did not feel like that
Speaker 1 (13:42)
I understand. It's because our brain is trying to like write this, you know, narrative of what's happening. And if that's okay, it's like, ⁓ I have this great, mean, this is why it's so brilliant that the painting thing happened to the door, because it just illuminated for you. Wait a minute. I think I have some thoughts here that maybe aren't serving me. And this awareness is good. It's like, this is how I view this. I view an exchange.
between friends or businesses as how would you classify it, how you view it just in general?
Speaker 2 (14:22)
Risky. Maybe. Yeah. It could turn out well. It could turn out badly.
Speaker 1 (14:26)
Lincoln, so that's scary.
And so what? Like, you know what I was saying to myself the other day? I am so hilarious in my own head. is like, welcome to the party. I was like, Heather, either it's gonna work or it's not.
No kidding. Either it's going to work out, which is going to end well, or I wouldn't even say badly, it's just not going to work out. It's either going to work out or not work out. And then so what?
Like take me through the whole scenario. Let's say it doesn't go well, like something is icky or we just, we don't hit it off or whatever. Then what?
Speaker 2 (15:16)
in the sense that I'm trying to share.
Speaker 1 (15:19)
Yes. Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:20)
share something. ⁓
Ideally just move on to the next person, but.
Speaker 1 (15:30)
You might be, so you're telling me, my three steps is to meet people, tell them your photographer make an offer. Let's say you do that with me. You meet me, you tell me you're a photographer and you make an offer. And I'm like, nope. I don't even like your work. I think what you do is terrible. Like, okay, nobody's gonna say that. But I'm giving you the worst case scenario. Then it's like, oh, okay. Okay.
Next.
Speaker 2 (16:01)
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:02)
Why would we spend any of our time trying to convince our worst client? Why would we not harness all of our energy to talking to our best clients? So I promise you that insurance guy, I promise you, my gosh, I'm stereotyping insurance people. Forgive me. I have a great insurance person. I promise you he's just like, okay, I talked to her. Maybe she'll call me. Maybe she won't next. Next.
talking to everybody because he's not making it mean anything about his character. It's like, have a service and I want you to know I exist. And okay.
So with that in mind, is your brain offering you any other type of fear about working with a friend, telling them what you do, making an offer?
Speaker 2 (17:06)
Okay, so there's in this particular networking group, ⁓ I have had a few people reach out, it's like, hey, this person needs, and so that's the business networking group. ⁓ A lot of times it's with headshots and that kind of thing. ⁓ And a couple of times people have said, yeah, I put you in contact with this one person, they need headshots, but I would say of those two,
scenarios, ⁓ they both wanted basically me to do a networking business owners can get their headshot done for basically nothing. And I'm like, I mean, and I say no. mean, I don't do that. But I think that's another feeling of.
Why? Why am I? I'm really not finding my ideal client here. Maybe this isn't even the place to be looking for family photography clients.
Speaker 1 (18:11)
Okay, so that thought is what's holding you back. You're hesitating because you're questioning. There's doubt, right? Should I even be here? Is this worth my time? And that's valid. mean, I don't want you to waste your time. But my thought is I will never go wrong meeting people and telling them what I do. Never. Because I will make an impression. I will share what I do. And if they don't hire me, their cousin will.
Or their aunt, sister, brother, uncle, twice removed, might call me five years from now, by the way. Five years. So in my brain...
This is like, this is like big, just stay here with me. My brain is like, I'm never wasting time. I never view anything as wasting time. It's like not even a concept.
whatever I'm working on in my business or meeting people, I just truly believe that what I'm doing is for the greater good of my business, always.
Now, I'm not suggesting you don't question your time. Like, yes, of course, you know, if it's not making sense, but...
I just think that wherever I'm at, whoever I'm talking to, that there will be a return on that. It's just what happens for most of us is we go to these things and we don't get a client immediately or even this year. And we're like, my people aren't even here. This is a waste of my time. But what if three years from now, five people hire you because of some connection or maybe them even directly or because of some connection. So I always believe that I'm throwing a rock in the pond that's rippling.
And I just don't believe that's a waste. So, I mean, you get to decide how you think about that. Your people might not be there, but I used to photograph the March of Dimes walk for babies, ⁓ for like premature babies or babies born with issues, because I love the babies, you know? But I was a wedding photographer. Do you think my ideal client was at the March of Dimes walk for babies? Okay, no, not even close. Big sign said weddings by Heather.
So funny. was families. A family photographer would fit in really well there, right? I cannot tell you the amount of business that came from those relationships.
people telling me, have to hire Heather. She shoots for the March of Dimes. You have to hire Heather. And it was something I enjoyed doing. Now listen, if you hate it, if you hate it, and you're like, I'm wasting my time and my people, well, I mean, you get to decide that. But in my brain, I'm just, everything's always working. And I'm always meeting the right people. And if it's not the person in front of me, then it's their friend. It's like,
I had brides hire me because their friend told them to hire me, but their friend couldn't afford me. So like, then they would refer people to me. I have 10,000 people on my email list and I will be telling everybody always about Elevate and 10 people will join. Okay. Do you know how many are then saying no? Who cares? You know?
I'm going to help people as much as I can. And then I just believe in the three year buy cycle. I've talked about that where like people will buy. Okay. I don't want to get hung up on that. You get to choose the way you think about it and how and where you're winning and just question the question, the self doubt and follow the scenario out. Like if I have an awkward interaction or somebody says no, or it doesn't work out, then what?
So what? I met a person. You will never go wrong meeting people. Never, ever, ever. Even if it doesn't work out. Because what you believe about insurance guy talking to you is either going to propel you into action or cause you to hesitate.
How's that landing for you?
Speaker 2 (22:35)
I think I have a lot of... ⁓ I need to change how I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (22:43)
your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (22:45)
It is true like human interaction is never wasted. But sometimes I think it is. I mean, I know like that's true, but I do feel like, hey, this isn't going anywhere. But I do think just reframing it in sense of.
Speaker 1 (22:50)
Never.
Speaker 2 (23:09)
You just never know how it's going to land or, you know, the person that I meet, etc. down the road. So.
Speaker 1 (23:20)
And take that one step further. That's a better thought. You're creating these latter beliefs, which are really good, which is you never know. If we take that one step further, it's like, I know this is working. I know this will lead to a client. Every time I show up for people, for people who are intrinsically valuable, every time I show up for people, I am doing good in the world. So focus on service. You focus on service.
I tell everybody what I do. I don't even know. I don't care if they're photographers. I'm like, I help people make more money. I help people clean up their minds. Like, I just want to share it because I'm excited. If somebody feels like they're being sold to, that's because of how they're thinking about it, because I know my heart.
And I know that I'm just trying to help and serve. If somebody thinks they're being sold to, I'm like, they have thoughts about selling. And then I'm like, well, do want me to help you with that?
So just catch the thoughts and believe that everything is working. And I know this is a stretch for a lot of people and it was for me, but I promise you, if I can get there, you can, because I still struggle with it, but I just don't believe I'm ever wasting my time.
Like whatever I'm working on is what I'm supposed to be working on in the moment. And I just, my self-concept is just rooted in trust.
So trust yourself to be able to work with friends, to be able to have conversations that might be difficult or uncomfortable. You talked to your friend about the door and it all worked out perfectly because everything could be, I think everything is easier than you think it might be. It's true. Helpful.
Speaker 2 (25:14)
That's very helpful. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:16)
It is my pleasure. Thank you. Thank you. I loved that conversation and I hope that you found it useful as well. Or maybe you were able to draw some parallels in how your thinking impacts your business. The easiest most straightforward example of this is if you don't believe that anyone will pay your pricing because you wouldn't pay your pricing, then that's obviously because you are projecting your
money thoughts and beliefs onto your potential clients. And it just doesn't work. It certainly doesn't serve you. If this conversation resonated with you, you would love Elevate. We take this work and we put it into practice to help you grow your photography business and have fun in the meantime. It doesn't have to be a painful process. I hope you enjoyed this conversation.

Welcome!
I'm Nicole and I help portrait photographers to stop competing on price, sell without feeling pushy, and consistently increase sales to $2,000+ per session - which is the fastest path to a 6-figure business. My goal is to help you build a thriving business you love while earning the income you deserve.